Copyright © 2000 Bob Hay

Pelvis Poem
January, 2000
  1. Once upon a time there was a pelvis.
  2. The pelvis is used for protection and carriage of unmentionables.
  3. Men often cover the pelvis with shorts; women with panties.
  4. The woman's pelvis is the gateway to a baby.
  5. Without the pelvis, we wouldn't have hips.
  6. The back of the pelvis looks like a tail, a pointy tail of bone.
  7. The pelvis has two round dishpan ears, like a bow in a little girl's hair.
  8. It holds up your legs.
  9. It looks fragile in pictures, but it's hard like a skull.
  10. It hangs from your spine, hangs like a pendulum.
  11. If you hold it backwards it looks upset, but it's not really.
  12. You can never truly see your own pelvis, but the doctors can photograph it with their machines.
  13. The pelvis is the donut of the pants, but it can also be worn as a headset, though it may hurt.
  14. It can be sharp.
  15. The pelvis can be a bone or a region or a cavity or a combination of these.
  16. The true pelvis can be beautiful or empty.
  17. If you pick up a pelvis, it can be heavy.
  18. All mammals have a pelvis, but each one is different.
  19. Most animals have a pelvis, but some are missing or lost.
  20. The pelvis is very small at first, but it gets bigger.
  21. You shouldn't play with your pelvis.
  22. It's considered rude.
  23. Sometimes you can play with someone else's pelvis, but only if you have permission.
  24. That can sometimes be fun.
  25. Or painful.
  26. Or illegal, if you don't have a pass.
  27. The pelvis is a necessary condition towards true happinesss, but it is not a sufficient condition, which is where many people make an error.
  28. Everyone has a different pelvis; nobody shares.
  29. If you ask nicely, you can borrow someone else's pelvis, but only from afar.
  30. The pelvis is generally more beautiful from the front than from the back, though not always.
  31. If you didn't have a pelvis, your back would fall into your legs.
  32. Then you'd be in trouble.
  33. Eating would be difficult.
  34. Sitting would be almost impossible, but you could practice.
  35. The doctors might be able to build you a new one, but it wouldn't be the same.
  36. You'd miss your old pelvis.
  37. Your dog or your cat also has a pelvis.
  38. Your fish might have a pelvis, but I'm not sure.
  39. Please do not check to see if you fish has a pelvis.
  40. It's not that important.
  41. You only have one plevis.
  42. If you have more than one pelvis, then something is wrong.
  43. You should be nice to your pelvis; you'd be very sad if you lost it.
  44. You would not be very tall without your pelvis, unless you were veryvery tall to begin with.
  45. The pelvis is very oddly shaped but you get used to it.
  46. A man's pelvis looks different from a woman's pelvis.
  47. You can tell a man from a woman by the shape of the pelvis.
  48. That's not without good reason.

    Bob Hay