Henrietta Hay's Column

"Bah, Humbug." Christmas has been commercialized, it's expensive and a lot of trouble, people get grouchy, and this year I'm going to forget Tradition. Great idea, but it doesn't work. By early December I start to have those warm fuzzy memories of past Christmases. Then the Christmas music starts coming out of the speakers in the stores, the lights start to glow and I'm lost again. But by the time I start to get that feeling it is at least a week past the time when I should have had my packages in the mail. Suddenly I remember that I have not written any of the personal letters to go into the cards I have not bought. I have to write the letters because they maintain all too fragile links of friendship across the country. It is time for my annual panic attack.

In one last effort to avoid falling prey to the sentimentality that causes panic, I went to the Mall the afternoon of the first Sunday in December. That almost did it. But even there, as I fought my way through the crowds, more people were smiling than frowning. Decorations were everywhere. The little police car was zipping around keeping the kids fascinated. Santa was ho ho hoing and I finally gave up. I don't want to skip Christmas.

But before I give in completely, I want to make my First Annual Awful Taste in Toys Award. It goes to the Jesus Doll at $29.95. According to the publicity, he bends at the waist, is machine washable and wears his heart on his tunic. I think he offends the religious and the non-religious equally. Waiting on the drawing board for next year's award are Mary and God. And I thought last year's Mommy doll that popped out a baby was awful.

Back to Christmas Traditions! They bind us together and help keep the memories fresh. Unlike the dinosaur, traditions last by adapting. Take the annual gingerbread house tradition. My own version of it began some 40 years ago when my son John was a little boy and read the story of Hansel and Gretel. He decided it would be fun to build a gingerbread house for Christmas, and proceeded to design the house and cut the cardboard pattern. He found a recipe and we baked and built the first one. For several years this was our favorite Christmas tradition but, alas, he grew up.

Many years later when my children were grown and gone and hers were little, my friend the philosopher and I revived the tradition. We used the original cardboard pattern with batter stains on it and for several years created architectural masterpieces. We experimented with materials and colors and inspirations and made careful notes of the successes and failures as we created these works of art. One year, for a change, we laid her little boy on the floor, cut out a pattern and constructed a gingerbread boy. I think it is possible that she still has a few pieces of rock hard gingerbread stashed away to remind her that her 6' son was once that small.

Over the years, however, as we became busier and her kids got bigger, the failures began to exceed the successes. One year the frosting would not hold the slabs together and in desperation we sloshed on Elmer's Glue. The color matched, but even Elmer couldn't keep that house from collapsing. That did it. Tradition had to take a back seat to expediency. We decided that henceforth Tradition would consist of baking a few cookies and sitting by the fire drinking hot buttered rum and talking about Christmas Past.

Other traditions tend to change. Until recently I had never had a Christmas without a live tree and assumed that I never would. More than seventy evergreens have given up their lives for my annual celebrations. But I finally weakened and bought an artificial one. I do feel a little sad as my friends and I put the ornaments collected over a lifetime on the little faux tree, but it looks fine and is a lot less trouble. And the friends who have helped me trim it for years no longer expect a turkey dinner, but settle for call-in pizza. The tree and the menu have changed, but the warmth and the Tradition last.

As always, I wish for the world the true Christmas gift. It is called Peace on Earth and Good Will to People. Merry Christmas.