Henrietta Hay's Column

I have a hearing impairment that makes it hard to understand people in a group or even one on one sometimes. But now and then I hear conversations that take place thousands of miles away. It happened recently.

A man whom I have known for over seventy years was talking to his wife somewhere in the northern part of the world. As he prepared to depart on his annual business trip, his wife inquired about his preparations. Since she is known only by the achievements of her husband, I do not know her first name. His is Santa.

Ms. Claus: It's almost time to go, dear. Did you get everything done?

Santa: All set. My bags are all packed and in the sled.

M C: What are you taking to the children this year?

S: The elves and I have been churning out the old standbys - dolls and trucks and Tinker Toys and Legos and Slinkies. I'm taking them down, but they may not make all the kids happy. Mostly they want what TV has told them to want. Those TV cartoon shows are ruining my image as a right jolly old elf.

MC: Oh come on. It can't be that bad.

S: Yes it is. The boys want the loud violent stuff - guns and tanks and oversize screaming trucks. There are Star Wars guns and military guns and Fantasy guns and He Man power swords and blasters. Endless mass destruction right there at their little fingertips! Ordinary trucks aren't violent enough. There's a monster one that has huge tires and can climb just about anything. It comes with molds and foil so the kids can form cars for Big Foot to run over and smash flat, and then re-form them for re-crunching. I don't make those things.

MC: What about the girls? Do they watch the cartoons too?

S: Yes, unfortunately. They're still into dolls a lot but TV has made their tastes more sophisticated. The Barbie Doll is still the big favorite, but don't expect me to make her in my shop. If they are going to get Barbie they will have to talk their parents into buying her. Barbie is blonde and buxom and has more clothes than Imelda Marcos. She teaches little girls that that hers is the only standard of beauty. There are some other things, too, that I won't build here. One is called Dreambuilders Shopping Mall set. Somebody has taken good old stand-by Legos and painted them pink and lavender and put pictures of stores on them so the girls can build shopping malls to spend money in. A matching game is called Mall Madness, also in pink with a little girl pictured on the box. It even has a credit card for her to insert when she has picked out all the goodies she wants.

MC: I can see why you won't make violent, sexist toys like that. So what are you taking them?

S: Kids like to build things. Do you remember Lincoln Logs? Did you know that Frank Lloyd Wright's son designed them way back in 1916? I copied them from him, and have been delivering them ever since. Lots of kids still like Tinker Toys, too. And they loved Erector sets. I had to quit making those for a while, but I think I'll start in again next year. I have a few sets of good old wooden blocks, and the ever-popular non-sexist Legos. They're red and yellow and blue and all the bright colors boys and girls like. Tonka Trucks are still a big favorite and I have lots of dolls. The one that has been asked for most this year is Baby Alive who does all the things that babies alive do. Raggedy Ann is still with us, but she is a little different. She no longer has a real candy heart, which is a big disappointment to the grandmothers who remember their own Raggedys.

MC: Well, Santa, you've done a good job. Have a good trip. See you the 26th.

S. Ho, Ho, Ho. Happy Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.