Copyright © 1999 Henrietta W. Hay
My New Computer
April 2, 1999
The computer ate my homework. Well, sort of. If anyone sent me an
email message before last week and hasn't received an answer, don't wait
around. Those messages have all gone into that big email hole in the
sky.
Since personal computers become obsolete in a matter of months, I
decided it was time to upgrade my four year old Mac. Waiting 30 seconds
for an image to appear wasted too much time for a modern woman of the
nineties! Guru Ken "delivered" the new one, so to speak, and spanked it
until it coughed. But then I was on my own. One choice I made was to
let the accumulated messages in the old computer evaporate. If I
could just bring myself to do that with all the stuff in my filing
cabinet I would be on my way to efficiency.
Upgrading a computer is not unlike elective surgery. You are glad you
had it done and you know you are going to feel much better soon, but for
a little while you wish you hadn't done it. My new Mac baby is
wonderful - fast, full of goodies and pretty to look at, but there are
enough changes to keep me occupied for weeks and raise my frustration
level to dangerous heights.
Way back in the dark ages of computerdom, maybe 20 years ago, it wasn't
all that hard to upgrade. When I graduated from my little TRS80, it was
a fairly simple switch over. The TRS80 is now in the same class as the
horse and buggy and I suspect one of them may be resting in the
Smithsonian.
One of the most famous early computers, was HAL, the renegade computer
in the 1968 movie, "2001: A Space Odyssey." HAL was conceived in a
midwestern lab and destroyed near the planet Jupiter by an astronaut
armed with a screwdriver. Of course, HAL had just murdered the other
four crew members, so it was a good thing the screw driver was handy.
Arthur C. Clarke, who created HAL when he wrote the screenplay, defends
his electronic friend. He says he was not a bad computer. He was just
misunderstood. HAL, by the way, is the acronym for Heuristically
programmed ALgorithmic computer. For those who like to play word
games, if you transpose the letters H-A-L one letter ahead you get
I-B-M. But Clarke says that is coincidence. I know you wanted to know
that.
I am a real computer junkie, amateur grade. That means I love to use a
personal computer, but its insides could be assembled on Mars for all
that I understand about it. But the sophistication of the modern
computer complicates life. To sell an "upgrade" of a computer or a
program, the experts have to come up with some major changes that will
make it faster and bigger, and more exciting, maybe even in a choice of
colors. But some of the changes just make it harder to use. And like
babies, they do not come with instruction books. You have to dig out
the instructions as you go.
For a couple of days I thought I had HAL's grandchild. Hmm. Maybe I
do.
One problem with a new toy is that we have to play with it. In my case,
that can interfere with the creative process. Right in the middle of a
great sentence for this week's column, I suddenly realize I want to know
how the new toy will notify me if an email message is coming in, and
then I decide to look up the latest news on Kosovo. Half an hour later
I return to the column .
Computers are no longer young peoples' toys. Senior citizens are
learning the value and fun of using them. I have most of my friends
convinced, but there are a few standouts I am still working on.
I love my new Mac . It is a wonderful machine. But it still can't
write a column or a letter to my kids. For all the technical progress
that has been made, it is still a dumb machine that needs a human
brain. We still have garbage in, garbage out. And that homework mine
ate probably wasn't worth saving anyway.