Henrietta Hay's Column

"The Texas Cheerleader Story" was on TV recently. I couldn't bear to watch it because I knew the plot. We all know that it concerned a mother so driven to see her daughter make the cheerleading squad that she put out a contract on the mother of the competition. It sounds like a fantasy novel or science fiction but it was based on an event which really took place -- in Texas, where else.

There are lots of things in my youth that I prefer not to make public, or even think about in private. One of them, which cause me deep embarrassment, is that I was once a cheerleader at Englewood High School. There, it's out. My only excuse is youthful exuberance. Actually, at that time, it simply involved waving my arms around a little, yelling loudly and getting my feet muddy. Probably the maximum cheering section consisted of 50 people, maybe 100 if we were playing Littleton.

In my feminist adult reaction to my youthful folly, I am not alone. Lynn Snowden has written a very funny but probably true essay for Working Woman magazine entitled: "The Roots of Rejection: Everything you need to know about business you learn from cheerleading tryouts." The article includes a list of well-known women who were cheerleaders. They include, with Snowden's comments: Meryl Streep, "The ultimate performer in the ultimate role;" Senator Nancy Kassebaum, "The fourth alternate in college. Enough said;" Madonna, "Cheerleading provided that early training in showing one's underwear in public;" Katie Couric, "We knew this, right? No one's terribly surprised, are they?"

Ah, but look at those who tried but did not make the grade: Jane Fonda, "Forget about dating the quarterback -- she married the guy who owns the team;" Hillary Clinton, "No, she was not the cheerleader, no she did not stay home and bake cookies;" Diane Keaton, "Too shy to disrobe in the Broadway production of 'Hair' we can only imagine what she was like at cheerleader tryouts;" Loni Anderson, "Is it possible that her high school wasn't looking for the Cheerleader Type for their squad?" Jane Pauley, "Hard to say. Maybe those weird bangs kept her off the squad."

In High School, and in Middle School and even before that, becoming a cheerleader is so important that many girls become convinced that this is LIFE, and that theirs will be over if they don't make the squad. "Cheerleader" spells popularity and prestige and some of them will do anything to get it. It's not cheap, either. One friend told me that the "uniform" for his 7th grade daughter would set him back $175. Although the pressure is strong enough to have sent one overprotective Texas mother around the bend, most parents do not go to such lengths. But we do see the stress symptoms everywhere in parents living through their children.

Ah, but there's the other side. It's encouraging to know that even for those who didn't make the squad in High School, there is life after cheerleading. Snowden's article says, "Not making the cheerleader squad is when you transcend 'disappointed' and suddenly understand what adults mean when they say they're bitter." She points out that if a girl has ambitions beyond being the Prom Queen or Head Cheerleader, this is the moment when she learns nearly everything she needs to know in the business world, including Life isn't Fair, Ability Doesn't Guarantee Success and Yes, Looks Count. But not making the squad may lead to accelerated ambition and future success, fueled by the "I'll Show Them Attitude." Who knows? Today's High School loser will probably be the first female CEO.

The cheerleader syndrome is a microcosm of the competitiveness in High School. Whether it is football, band, dramatics, cheerleading or whatever, losing is terribly painful at the time. It is, however, a wonderful preparation for LIFE. Just be sure your mother doesn't have a gun. Failed cheerleaders usually find at class reunions they are more successful than the girls who made the squad, unless they went to school with Madonna. There is life after High School.