Henrietta Hay's Column

Turn, turn, turn - To everything there is a season - and a time for every purpose under heaven. Those words of wisdom from Ecclestiastes, put to music by Pete Seeger in the sixties, might well be heeded by today's teenagers. In their headlong rush to grow up, all too many of them are sacrificing their childhood, their dreams and their bright futures.

Children having children is surely one of the most pervasive social problems of our modern time. In Colorado in 1992 6525 babies were born to girls ages 10 to 19. The number of births to girls ages 13 and 14 more than doubled from 1980 (55) to 1990 (124). Whatever one's moral, ethical and/or religious beliefs, these figures are shocking.

While there are many exceptions, most of these child-mothers are headed for lives of poverty.

If you are interested only in the economic aspects of the problem, the burden these young parents and their children put on Colorado taxpayers reaches $200 million a year in welfare, Medicaid and food stamps. In addition, a young mother who drops out of school loses $200,000 in potential income over a lifetime.

The suits in Washington who claim to know all the answers to everything, propose to solve the problem by cutting teen mothers off welfare and putting the babies -- well, they aren't sure quite where to put them.

You may have noticed that in all this discussion, the word "father" has not been mentioned very often. That is because in the case of teen mothers the fathers are often unknown, absent and/or uninterested in fatherhood.

The political issues of sex education, birth control, abortion, and welfare have nearly overwhelmed the basic human problem which is: What can we as a society do to convince our children that sex and parenthood are not teenage recreation? And in the meanwhile, what can we do realistically to help them?

There is no simplistic answer to this problem. No one solution alone will work. Dottie Lamm, in her column in the Denver Post on June 4 does offer a comprehensive answer that makes more sense to me than any other I have heard. With her consent, I quote a portion of that column.

"What would I do? "On Father's Day a full 40% of American children went to bed in a fatherless home.

"David Blankenborn, author of "Fatherless America" warns us bluntly that a society with fewer and fewer fathers is going to be a society with more prisons and more police officers.

"So where does all this leave us? It leaves me both more passionately liberal and more cautiously conservative than I used to be. What would I do?

"First, for married couples with minor children, I would make divorce more difficult to obtain, except in cases of spouse and child abuse.

"Second, to prevent unwed parenthood and the birth of more "fatherless" children, I would see that total programmatic options existed no matter what the cost: Better jobs and job training (those teens with realizable goals in life are less likely to become unwed parents), abstinence counseling, complete contraceptive availability, total access to abortion (state-funded when need be) and improved adoption services with no racial barriers.

"Third, I would find a way to seek out, counsel where possible and punish where necessary, abusive and incestuous parents. (Studies consistently show that a full two-thirds of unwed teen mothers were sexually abused as children)

"When, and only when, all of the above became virtual realities, I would consider denying single welfare recipients extra cash allotments (not food supplements or Medicaid) for additional children born on welfare.

"Perhaps most importantly, I would make sure that paternity is established at birth, and that a young father pay a percentage of his check, no matter how tiny, to support his child and keep in contact with his child. Older unwed fathers, who prey on the youngest teen girls, I would send to the slammer for statutory rape. I would then establish group homes for the young teens they violated and their infants.

"In short, I would take almost any measure legally available to stop fatherhood from becoming a mere fling."

Marian Wright Edelman, head of Children's Defense Fund, offers her own wisdom. "The best contraceptive is a bright future."