Henrietta Hay's Column

The history of humankind is one of ever increasing efforts to invent laborsaving devices. That's why we all ride around in cars instead of ox carts, and nuke our food in microwaves instead of cooking it over open fires. We do this, in theory at least, to free up time for creative endeavor. By shortening the time required for routine jobs, we have more time to think. Well, that's the theory.

I suppose that's why we let kids take hand calculators into math tests--to free up their brains for creative thought. It's a little hard for those of us went to school in the pre-calculator days to understand, but laborsaving devices are changing everything else, so why not math? Today's kids are taking calculus in high school, programming computers and talking about becoming space scientists. They need all the help they can get.

The spell checker is another labor saving device, although rather than freeing up brainpower, it reduces the need for using it. For the benefit of my non-computerized friends, I should explain that a spell checker is a part of many word processing programs. When so instructed, the little green men behind the screen go through your document, point out every misspelled word and correct it for you if you press the right key. While the purist would say that the writer should have learned to spell in the fourth grade, maybe here a bit of mechanical help is acceptable. Some extremely creative people can't spell "cat." So while they should have learned to spell, it is better for them to use this mechanical aid than never to write anything at all or irritate their editors. For the record, I learned to spell in the fourth grade, but the spell checker catches typos when I write too fass instead of fast.

There is, however, a new piece of "labor saving" software that I think should be returned to the open campfire period. I recently received an upgrade for my word processing program, which includes a grammar checker. I started reading about these things several years ago and thought it was such a bad idea that it would die a natural death. But no. This program tells you whether or not the grammar and style of your writing are "correct." If either one does not fit the set of rigid rules that were written into the program, you just push a button, it corrects the error, and presto, you're William Shakespeare or Ernest Hemingway or Danielle Steele. Well, not really. If you take it seriously, say farewell to creative writing and personal style.

I am the last person to protest the use of correct grammar. I just do not think that it can be made mechanical. Somehow, it has to be learned. The Harper Dictionary of Contemporary Usage is worth its weight in computer grammar checkers and my copy is beginning to look a little frayed.

Just for fun I typed up one of the great masterpieces of American literature, the Gettysburg Address, and ran it through the checker. According to it, Mr. Lincoln made eight grammatical and style errors. I give you a few examples, with the checker's comment in parenthesis. "All men are created equal." (This verb group may be in the passive voice). "Now we are engaged in a great civil war," and, "We are met on a great battlefield of that war." (The main clause may contain a verb in the passive voice). "But in a larger sense we cannot dedicate," (It is preferable to avoid beginning sentences with "but") "it is for us the living rather to be dedicated here," (this verb group may be in the passive voice) "to the unfinished work which they who fought here so nobly advanced." (Consider using "that" as the restrictive relative pronoun).

The Gettysburg Address is a beautiful, poetic, emotional statement that stirs us every time we read it or hear it. Legend has it that Abraham Lincoln wrote it on the back of an envelope as he was riding on the train toward Gettysburg. I am only glad that he did not have a laptop computer with a grammar checker on that train ride. Some things are best left to human brains and emotions.