The word "sorry" seems to have disappeared from the English language. Well, the word is still here but it has a different meaning. Now it means, "Well, I'm kind of sorry it happened, but of course it wasn't my fault." There is a rapidly increasing tendency to blame any action, which is wrong in any way on somebody else. "Hey, I didn't do it. He/she did it." The word that is really endangered is responsibility.
It is my personal opinion, not necessarily the opinion of this newspaper, that in the beginning Watergate was a very dumb mistake but not a major international incident. If somebody - anybody - in power had said, "Hey, this was a stupid thing to do. We're sorry we did it, and we'll never do it again unless we're sure we won't get caught," Nixon might not have resigned. Come to think of it, maybe Watergate was a good thing after all.
As taxpayers we have paid millions of dollars in the aftermath of the Iran-Contra cover-up. Maybe if somebody along the line had said, "OK, we goofed and we got caught," instead of, "Mistakes were made - by somebody else," the country might have been saved not only money but also anguish and disgrace.
You can't say we don't learn from our leaders.
Time magazine has a cover story on "Busybodies and Crybabies" that comes a lot too close to the truth to be comfortable. Its point is that the "crybabies" are making a travesty of the virtues that used to be known as individual responsibility and common sense. About crybabies it says, "...this is the age of the all purpose victim...Crybabyhood is all blame, no pain...We're not to blame; we're victims." This article is talking mostly about legal aspects of crybabyhood, but the point is universal. Everybody is hunting for somebody to blame. Professor William Galston of the University of Maryland says, "If something bad happens to us we are outraged, because our lives are supposed to be perfect."
One great dumping ground for blame for almost anything wrong with society is the family. Whether the family is guilty or not in any given case is immaterial. A very cynical cartoonist named Nicole Hollander draws "Sylvia." Sylvia is sort of the Ann Landers of the comic strips. Recently she gave this piece of advice. "Are you an adult child of parents without stress? Do you sit silent and alone at social gatherings? Are you reduced to complimenting the hostess on her dip while others recount dazzling tales of childhood pain and trauma? Call 1-800-Get-Angst." If the line is busy, call back.
Another great institution to blame is "The Media." Crybabies love to castigate that. Sure, I suppose that sometimes it goes too far, but knowing that it is there makes it a lot harder to blame somebody else for our own misdeeds, major or minor. After all, we might get caught and have to take responsibility. Sophocles was the first media basher two thousand years ago. He wrote, "None love the messenger who brings bad news." In more modern terms the phrase is "Don't kill the messenger."
Of course, accepting responsibility can exact a heavy price. Gary Hart didn't blame anybody, and look what happened to him.
Recently Donald Kennedy resigned as president of Stanford University. There has been a fairly major scandal involving research grants there and at other universities. There was not, however any dramatic new revelation or any accusation toward him personally. He could have ridden out the scandal and blamed his subordinates in good old American fashion. The phrase of choice is, "Mistakes were made." But he had the courage and the vision to subordinate his ego for the school. He said, "I'm the chief executive officer for this institution, and, as has been said, you bear responsibility when you have that job."
I'm never quite sure what people mean when they talk about the "traditional American values" but I do believe that one of them.
Is it personal responsibility? That particular value is in great danger today. We all need help and I think that society must give it where needed, but I also think Harry Truman was right. The buck stops here.