Henrietta Hay's Column

This modern world is full of problems. Many years ago I had to quit drinking Coors beer because of Joe Coors' politics. Now I am faced with a crisis of orange juice because Rush Limbaugh is pushing it. What will be next? What if they should start using Dan Quayle to sell potatoes?

Webster defines the word, "boycott," as, "to join together in refusing to deal with, so as to punish, coerce, etc.to refuse to buy, sell or use." In practical terms, most boycotts don't do a lot of good, but on an individual basis, they are tremendously satisfying.

When Joe Coors, the ultimate conservative, went on the Board of Regents of the University of Colorado many years ago, I was convinced that he would ruin the University, so I boycotted his product as a protest. The University survived, of course, but I have not bought a can of Coors since then. Somehow I don't think Joe ever noticed, but it made me feel better. Now all these years later, the boycott is pure habit, but my old friends would never offer me a Coors. My new ones wonder why not. Recently I actually found a kindred spirit, someone who knows and remembers-- a fellow-boycotter (sic). We sit around and talk about Joe and the University.

Joe has long since moved on to bigger and better things. Now I have to decide whether I want to see a Rockies game in Coors Stadium or attend a basketball game in the Coors Events Center at C. U., neither of which seems too likely anyway. The Coors family has donated millions of dollars to various projects and I admire their generosity. I even shook hands with Joe once, but I would be happy to see our sports palaces named for something besides beer.

And now we come to orange juice. This is not the first time that the Florida State Citrus Commission has gotten into hot orange juice by their choice of spokespersons.

One would think they would have learned to use somewhat less controversial names to advertise their product after Anita Bryant and Burt Reynolds got blown out of the OJ. But no. Now they have chosen the darling of the Right, the demagogue with a sense of humor, the man everybody loves or hates, Rush Limbaugh to be their spokesman.

It is, I grant you, difficult to find a spokesperson who will not irritate part of the populace. As a commentary on our modern world, I have been trying for ten minutes to think of the name of a famous living person who is completely without controversy. Perhaps they should instead consider Kermit the Frog or Beethoven (the dog, not the composer) or even Miss Piggy, the porcine version of Madonna to sell their orange juice.

Boycotts are sometimes effective when used by a large group of people. California grape growers found that out in the eighties when Cesor Chavez started a major boycott of table grapes. Animal lovers, who probably couldn't afford one anyway, still boycott fur coats. A number of conservative groups have boycotted TV shows they considered unfit in one-way or another. Right now the Florida

Chapters of the National Organization for Women and the NAACP among others are threatening an unofficial orange juice boycott.

So the major decision of the 20th century arises. Should I boycott Florida orange juice for the sake of principle and political correctness? This is a toughie. Will I lose all my liberal credentials and my reputation if I slip a little orange juice into my breakfast menu? I buy very little beer and with so many brands it's no problem to ignore Coors. In the case of orange juice, however, most of it comes from Florida and my health and happy mornings are at stake.

At the risk of being accused of treason, I think I'll stick with orange juice. I like it and consider it necessary to my health. I have no desire to start a national Orange Juice Boycott. Barbara Roessner summed it up. "Remember, Rush's appeal is rooted in his paranoid vision of a left-wing conspiracy alleged to have infiltrated our major social and governmental institutions.... A lot of people believe he's their savior under siege. Let's not prove them right."

But I still won't drink Coors beer. Gotta have some principles.