Henrietta Hay's Column

The Colorado Lege has folded its tents and ridden off into the sunset. We can breathe easier again.

On the up side they added money for public schools, highway repair and children's programs, but as Governor Romer said, they need to work on citizenship.

Legislature watching is a favorite hobby of mine. I learned it from Molly Ivins, who reports on the Texas lege with such glee. Ours is not nearly as entertaining as theirs, but it does have its moments.

I have been giving serious consideration to the Third Annual Most Ridiculous Piece of Legislation Award. The majority opinion among those I have consulted is that it should go to the Bronco stadium bill. Granted, that bill only says that the people in the six county area closest to the proposed stadium can vote on spending $180 million of taxpayer money, but it took up a lot of time and hot air and was what they call the definitive bill of the session.

The big problem will be what to name it. We have Beer Field and Soft Drink Athletic Complex, so maybe football should be played in hamburger haven. How about Big Mac Stadium, with a large bun-shaped cover over it? I thought of Potato Chip Stadium, but that would be too flaky.

Several other bills were considered for the honor. We now have a state insect. Actually, we have a lot of them, but the hairstreak butterfly is the official state insect. After that passed Senator Gigi Dennis commented, "The state potato is the potato."

The speed limit bill was a contender. We have been authorized to kill ourselves off at a faster rate. The speed limit on freeways is now 75 mph. But to their credit, they toughened the requirement that trucks must chain up in bad weather, giving us western slopers a better chance to get across the mountains.

The lege was very consistent on the subject of tolerance. They were against it. They passed the bill denying recognition of same sex marriage, although Governor Romer vetoed it. They defeated the bill, which would have increased penalties for "hate crimes," assaults that occur merely because the victim is gay, elderly or a minority.

And this one really made me angry. The Senate passed without a dissenting vote a bill making female genital mutilation a crime of child abuse in Colorado. But the House Appropriations Committee defeated the measure by a party line 7 to 3 vote, with majority Republicans dominating. The practice should not be tolerated in Colorado, or anywhere else. But one Representative worried that it might show intolerance toward a culture we don't understand. Wow. He probably voted against the hate crime bill.

There were some frivolous moments. They turned down a bill that would have required doctors to write legible prescriptions. They killed a bill that would have allowed school officials to take truancy action against 6-year-olds, but they did add a requirement that third graders be able to read. And they defeated proposals to require that schools offer two tracks of sex education. Go figure.

They came up with some comments that deserve recognition.

"We're actually just a lot of overachievers who like to talk a lot." Rep. Peggy Lamm.

"In this case I'm pro-choice," pro-life Rep Mark Paschall arguing for his bill to open auto emissions testing to competition. Sort of depends on who is choosing.

Things you never expected to hear from Sen. Charles Duke. "We should get some bumper stickers: 'Intolerance is absolutely prohibited.'"

And then we had the final insult to representative government when Rep. Mark Paschall, in the opening prayer in the House chamber implored God to forgive abortion; homosexuality, multiculturalism and legal plunder which we call social justice. Rep Doug Friednash declared, "I think there is something there to offend everyone. I saw Democrats and conservative Republicans alike walk out with a sense of outrage."

But over all it was highly entertaining and, as Molly Ivins says, "Becoming a fan of this arcane art form will yield a body endless joy -- besides they make you pay for it whether you pay attention or not."

Happy futures to Dan and Tim, Mesa County's two retiring legislators who served us well.